August 2008

If u look in to my "Previous Post" section, u'll definitely notice something. There is at least a post for each month, since I started blogging in March 2003. However there is no post for the month of August 2008. One may think, it was because I'd nothing to write. However, the fact remains that I intentionally did not post anything in August. By using this small trick, I was able to erase August 2008 from my past on the blog.
Alas, I don't have the powers to erase it from my life too.
Now, August 2008 was certainly one of the worst month in recent past.
I could not clear CFA Level-II. A big setback :(.
While deciding to join AIM, I'd set this short term goal to clear CFA Level-II before I graduate in December 2008. Now I can not achieve that target. I did come pretty close, but failed in the end.
If this was not enough, my daughter broke LCD screen of my laptop and also damaged my mobile by pouring water over it :(.
However, the biggest setback was that for the first time in last 14 months, I felt as if things are going out of control. To be honest, I felt insecure, underconfident, lost, and unsure as to how to bring everything under control. One of my senior, with 4 "I" in his resume, was not able to get a job of his choice. And this was worrying me about my own prospects, considering the fact that I was looking forward to switch sector.
Thankfully for me, as the month ended, things are looking more promising.
I'm hoping that, like indian movies, there will be only happy ending for my MBA at AIM :)

Teri yaad saath hai

"Every day that I have been prime minister of India I have tried to remember that the first 10 years of my life were spent in a village with no drinking water supply, no electricity, no hospital, no roads and nothing that we today associate with modern living." ... Dr Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India (After winning the no-confidence vote against his government on 22.07.2008).

This reminds me of my first 10 years. I too spent those years in a similar village in one of the poorest state of India. Till standard 5th, I studied in a government school and afterwards moved to a moderate city and took admission in a big and famous government school. Afterwards I embarked on a journey which is continuing still....

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not trying to compare apple with orrange. Dr. Manmohan Singh has too high a place in my eyes that i'll ever want to compare him with anybody, let alone myself.

In fact, after reading Dr Singh's speech, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic and want to hear the song from movie, Namastey London.... "Main Jahan Rahoon, main Kahin bhi Rahoon,..... Teri yaad saath hai.

"Teri yaad saath hai. "

Tryst with I-Bankers

Almost a year ago, the newspapers were ga-ga with losses due to sub prime mortgage crisis in US. Every day, their came a new estimate of possible losses. It kept on increasing from a few billions to a few hundred billions to trillions of US Dollar. All this while, investors and press repeatedly asked Fed to come up with their estimate of losses and Mr. Bernanke simply ignored this demand and went ahead with his plans of cutting interest rates at an unprecedented rate.

This was really hard for me to understand. Why these investment bankers are unable to build a concensus among themselve for the possible losses due to mortgage crisis?

Then, only recently, I read that a leading bank is firing more than 10% employees of its I-banking division as the management think that its only the greed of I-bankers which has caused the whole world to go through this difficult phase. Now is the pay back time and they should pay for taking high risks. This perplexed me even more. Only some time back, they were being hailed for their role in generating capital so necessary for increased economic activities.

In last couple of months, I was working on a project where we had to finalize the re-investment strategy for more than a few hundred millions of US dollar. And this led to an opportunity for me to work alongwith some of the leading I-Banks of the region.

During my association with them, I could understand one thing for sure, that at least the Fixed Income division of I-banking is all about "trading" various possible risks.

For most of the I-Bankers, large percentage of their salary is in the form of bonus, attached with the volume of businesses they generate for their employers, and this leads to a situaton where they are forced to trade whatever risk that can exist. With one underlying bond, they form dozens of structures, all of whose return depends on the performance of the bond.

Fixed income being one of the oldest division, all possible simple structures has been exhuasted and the new ones coming up are really complex and innovative. This was one of the reason why it was so difficult to estimate the damage caused by mortgage fiasco.

Whatever others may say, I'm in awe with the innovations that I-bankers have done in the realm of financial engineering and for that reason I believe that they truly are the worthy owners of title, "Master of the Universe".

Tu chal, Main aaya.

Its ISEP season in AIM right now. Including me, 40 students have been declared (on the basis of GPA) eligible to go on exchange. Since AIM has tie ups with a number of good colleges around the globe, all eligible students can go on exchange if they opt for it.

Going on exchange is not free. It has some undiscountable costs:

1) Air fare and living expenses, which goes up to 300K INR in some cases.

2) The extra pressure of finishing MRR in less than 10 weeks (Others will get 18 weeks).

3) In all probability, one opting for exchange will not be able to attend campus interviews.

4) Those opting for exchange will not be able to attend elective on offer in final sem.

I've decided not to opt for exchange mostly because of reason number 4.

I firmly believe that the choice of a school for ISEP (International Students Exchange Program) should be guided only by its "fit" with my short term & long term plans. e.g If I want to specialize in finance, I'd look for the electives on offer and faculty, as well as college's reputation in finance. In some cases, the Reputation of college may overwhelm everything else (who would not like to go to Wharton or Columbia).

However, the way my batch mates are selecting their school, really perplexes me. Barring a few, most of them seem to be die hard believer in hindi saying, "Tu Chal main aaya" (U please proceed, I'll follow). Or may be I'm wrong, they are all making intelligent choices, only i'm not able to see it.

Whatever! Why should I be worrying?

Hmm... may be because I'll miss some of them as they used to take level of discussion in the class to next higher level.

If you want something...

"If you want something, all the universe will conspire to help you achieve it".

Alchemist, Paulo coelho.

I fell in love with this line the moment I read it. This is so very inspiring. It always pushes me to dream, and work hard to convert that dream into reality.
A couple of years into my previous job and I'd realized that I'm going no where. There wasn't anything very challenging about what I was doing. I've not taken birth to do these mundane job all my life - This feeling was getting stronger with each passing day. Things had come to a point where neither the promise of reward nor punishment was able to get me interested in my job. Although, my boss never complained, but I used to feel that I'm drawing salary for contributing nothing. I was certainly looking for a change.
I decided that I'll do MBA. Wrote CAT to get into IIMs... the first choice for any MBA aspirant in India, but failed. I took it up as a challenge and decided to write CAT again. I came close, but cudn't clear it again. At some point of time, I'd also thought of doing MBA from abroad, but there wasn't enough money. So I wrote CAT again, this time too I came close but ultimately could not succeed.
I thought, its time. I should give up my dream of doing masters and start looking for opportunities in other companies.
But then, I wasn't aware that some conspiracy was already going on. One after another, bit by bit, everything started falling in place. All of a sudden, one day I filled up form of AIM and took a flight to Mumbai to write AIMAT. All of a sudden I got a call from XLRI. All of a sudden one day I took a decision that even if I don't get ADB scholarship, I'll take education loan and will join AIM MBA. It looked impossible, but I got edu loan too. One by one, everything fell in line and I realized that against all odds, I'm in Manila atending classes.
Its almost a year, and I can feel that some kinda conspiracy is again going on. I'm destined to get, what I so desperately want. Amen!!!

In KualaLumpur

Its been a while since I posted on my blog. Afterall so many things were happening at once that it had become difficult to find time for writting anything. First and foremost was ever present pressure of preparing for CFA level-II exam. Although the syllabus is not infinite, its taking more time to cover than level-I's syllabus.
Then the project work in China Bank had also started taking its share of time. Good thing is that with each passing day the work here is getting more interesting and challenging :)
I'm bringing my wife and daugter here in june, so was also busy selecting a condo. Good thing that I was able to find one :).

My portfolio which I started last month also took its own share of time. By the way, its doing good. However, I have yet to start trading in forex which will certainly help me diversify some of the systematic risk associated with Indian stock market.

Apart from all this, what took most of my time during past month was certainly the uncertainty asociated with my internship/Action Consultancy. I was supposed to go to Singapore, however my application for training pass/VISA started taking more time than it should have in normal circumstances. It was nothing less than devastating to know that after waiting for more than two weeks, my training pass request has ultimately been rejected for the industrial quota for that sector had already exhusted. It was really magnanimous on my company's part for they gave us an option of coming to their KL office where they also arranged for our accomodation. So this is how I landed up in KL instead of Singapore for my AC. My internship here would focus on commodity trading and finding a mathematical model for maximizing pofits.

Yesterday, with Russ, I went to KLCC where this boy was trying hard to capture both his parents as well as petronas tower in the frame. This pic certainly explains the height of this building which for a couple of years claimed the title of "World's tallest building".

SHEKHAR's Portfolio

Many a times in our Classes, during class discussion the topics used to revolve around a question: What makes one happy? I believe everyone will have a different reason to feel happy about. But for me... I guess, its always the challenge of doing something different from the rest. Something new and chellnging.

For past few days, I'm feeling good, because I was finally able to convince two of my friends to invest a sizable amount of their money in my portfolio. A portfolio which guarantees a minimum return in the time when the market is most volatile and is clearly not taking any direction. My special thanks to Gaurav sharma and Pankaj Dhawan for they were the first to show confidence in me (Of course, its a different matter that I offered them a highly lucrative, guaranteed annual return of 20% )

Today, I formally announced opening of my portfolio investment services and started marketing it to potential group of investor. All day, instead of preparing for exams, I was busy preparing terms and conditions for investing in Shekhar's portfolio. It took me an hour to come up with a formula to calculate return of my portfolio for a quarter. And throughout the evening , I was busy marketing it to different set of investors. It felt good when number of investors showed confidence and promised to invest their money in my portfolio.

Lots and lots and lots of more work remains to be done. Have to prepare Balance sheet, Proforma Income statement, Ledger account of all investor, Proforma for account statements that I'll be sending to investors and most importantly my model of equity valuation on the basis of which I'll decide whether I'll go ahead and invest in a particular stock or not.

Many people have asked me why am I doing all this? Why not I limit all this activity to my own money only. The answer lies may be in my past ventures where I used to invest on gut feel only. I used to lose money and then get out totally, then reinvest, and again commit same mistakes. I'm expecting that the sheer fact that this time I own the responsibility of generating money for others, will force me to "inculcate an investing discipline" in me.

There is one more angle to it. I'm thinking that today, I've less money but enough time to experiment and learn. In future, I'll certainly get busy with job and then I'll have money but no time to learn and experiment.

Whatever, I'm looking forward to the day, when people will start investing in my portfolio for the returns that it'll generate and not for the 10% annual return that I'm guaranteering now.

Night Outs

Another night out. 4th in a row.

I've forgotten, when was the last time that I slept at a proper time. As far as I remember, in last one and half month, only one night I slept at 8 in the evening. Most of the other nights I sleep only after sunrise (after 5:20 am).

Again, I've realized that without any fail, if its an off day at college, I sleep after well past 8 am, only to get up after 3 pm and hence miss my lunch.

Somebody told me today, that for every night that one doesnot sleeps, he actually looses one day from his life.

If true, this certainly is not a good news for me. I've already lost many days and don't know how many more days I'm going to loose, in case I've to pass CFA level-II.

Only 60 more days to go. I gotta be reading ...!!!

Sleepy tour of Pagsanjan fall (Laguna)

SSAR officers and specially our overseas student president had announced Pagsanjan fall tour well in advance. Going by the signatures on sign up sheet, it was expected that more than 50-60 students would join this tour.
The result for our quanti papers came on 14th evening, and with this came jubiliation for some and disappointment for some. All the enthu for laguna visit kinda disappeared in one go.

As I wasn't feling very elated after seeing my result, I was also not sure myself if I wanted to come. Then came Sandeep, with a plausible logic that probably this is the only chance that most of our batchmates are going together on a trip, so I shud definately come. Many of us six floorites acceded to this logic and decided to get up early in the morning so that to be on time for our trip starting 07:00 am.

However, most of us were up till late in the morning. In fact I cud not sleep all night. This reflected in most of us sleeping all through the trip.

After 4 hrs long bus jorney, when we reached our first stop, river view resort, from where we had to take small boats (Kayak), I was so tired I decided to stay in resort only and take rest. Preetam Chandra and Saurabh arya also decided to stay with me. After taking some rest in the resort, we went to see an exhibition in the city.

We finally came back 10:00 in the evening only to sleep till very late the following morning :)

My first stage performance

When I chose learning guitar as my walkabout I'd never thought that I'll perform on stage. As deliverable, I'd said that I'll perform in front of class only.

In fact, we weren't ourselves sure, till this morning, that we are going to perform during the international week's cultural night. However, the organizers confirmed to us by 15:00 hrs today, that they have included a performance from us in their list. Myself and my HBO walkabout partner, Preetam Chandra, were both happy and scared at the same time. none of us had ever performed anything in front of an audience. We were nervous because we knew that we have not got enough time to practice together. In the hindsight, I think we did good by sleeping few hours before our performance as it certainly helped in calming us a bit.
In the end, it was good to know that almost everyone liked our performance & appreciated it more when they came to know that we had less than 6 weeks time to learn from the scratch.
In he video here, Myself and Preetam (Me on right) are playing Instrumental version of "Can't help falling in love" by Elvis presley.

Out of Control

"Yeh Ishq nahin aasaan, bas itana hi samajh lijiye,
Ik aag ka dariya hai, aur doob ke jana hai" [Bashir Bader]

Just replace Ishq with "LIFE" and it describes exactly how do I'm feeling lately. It seems as if I've got caught in a 'whirlpool'. I'm moving constantly, but not moving ahead. The worst part is, if I don't come out of it fast, I'll certainly drown :(.
At times, it feels I misjudged my capabilities. I should have listened to my well wisher's advice and should not have got myself engaged in so many different activities. But I did exactly that, and now I'll have to somehow find ways on my own to come out of this "Chakravyooh".

For the time being, the fact remains that these days I'm not able to decide where and how to utilize my time for maximum, or for that matter, any output. Before I can come to a decision, time passes by, further aggravating my problems.

There is a brighter side of the story too. My analysis of current situation has made me realize that its my time wasting habit which is at the core of problem. If only I can get over it, it'll not be too long before I regain control of my life.
Whatever, I'm eagerly looking forward to my week long mid sem break, starting this weekend.

Old Memories

Just other day, I was talking with my wifey and she said all my posts on this blog are centered towards AIM and MBA. I should try to expand my horizon. I think she is quite right, but ...
May be I need not worry.. with time I'll grow up and start thinking something interesting too ;). Whatever...

It was a mail from yahoo, announcing that they are going to close down the yahoo photos server. This mail prompted me to download my old photographs of my engineering college days, from yahoo photos and save it somewhere safely. Which I did as soon as I can :).
While browsing my Lappy today, I came across this folder and ...voila... all the memories started pouring again and again like an avalanche.
I'm pasting some of the pics here, starting from first year (1998), till class of 2002 night. I hope some of my friends from IITG will one day come across these pics and will thank me for reviving old memories. Memories which are certainly some of the most cherished ones. Of days, when we made friends for lifetime.

ISB in Top 20

Don't think I'm free these days. In fact, I'm not. Its 2:30 am and I've to complete MC's presentation and also have to read 02 cases before I go to sleep. But then it does not happen everyday that an Indian MBA school gets a rank in the world's top 20(http://rankings.ft.com/global-mba-rankings).
I've always believed that ISB's biggest strength is its Institutional marketing team. Sure they also have great infrastructure, excellent visiting faculty base, quality students and deep pockets. But these factors alone can not explain (at least to me) their meteoric rise to fame in only 5-6 years of their inception.
I may sound cynical in criticising ISB's achievement, but in my opinion this time their marketing team has faltered. They are taking a huge risk by choosing to walk on this thin rope. Probably they should have waited for a few more years, before pushing hard for this result. Sure, it's a big achievement and would bring them instant fame and publicity. But what about the risk when they are not able to meet the expectations? Are they ready to meet majority of incoming students expectation of getting a salary hike of 129%. I don't think they are their yet.

Healthy Competition

"They glanced at one another like tigers taking measure of a menacing new rival.".......... The Class, Eric Segal.
I remember reading this novel some 10 years back. However, This line has since then always remained fresh in my mind. Always.

Today in our HBO lecture this issue came up all of nowhere. Whether we should take our batchmates as partners in our learning process or should we take them as our competitors. Interesting.... right.
Including my proffy, most of my batchmates were arguing for partners. That everyone should assist others in the class. We should try to help each other in overcoming his/her weaknesses.
But does it happens all the time?
I'm not sure about others, but I certainly believe that its my competitive spirit only which has taken me so far. Its hard to believe that most of the time we don't see our batchmates as rivals. In my opinion we do. And there is nothing wrong in it. One hour and 20 minutes which we spend in a class will be most productive only if everyone is trying to outshine others. To give his best.

The only imporant thing must remembering is that competition should be healthy. One should not resort to unehtical means :D.

Passed CFA Level - I

It’s been more than 4 days when results came out. I do think of writing about it here everyday but ...

These days its been soo very hard to concentrate anywhere.. Things are moving so fast ... Not only therez study pressure, I've to keep applying for my internship too. Have to prepare for possible interviews. Prepare for upcoming CFA Level-II and FRM exam... Marketing, DE, GME, HBO Project, MC Write up... Then therez guitar Classes too. Phew...

I do think, I'm quite capable of managing all this. But then for this new found source of distraction. It’s not letting me concentrate anywhere. I do tend to become bored of task in hand every 15-20 mins. Keep switching between cases, books, Guitar, Internet and sleep. Sure I need to do something fast.

Anyway, amidst all this chaos, on 23rd of Jan I felt relieved to read that I've passed CFA Level-I exam. This certainly was a confidence booster. I'd hardly prepared 15-20 days for level-I exam and hence was a bit sceptical of my chances.

When I’d left India for Manila, I’d set a goal for myself … to clear at least CFA Level-II by the time I graduate out of AIM. Now this result, certainly gives me a chance to achieve my goal. Level-II & III exams are administered only once in a year (in June). In all probability I’ll be graduating in December and it only means that I’ll have to pass level-II in June. I know, I can and sure, I’ll.

Walkabout

So, finally I bought an Acoustic Guitar Today.
Now this sounds interesting. Why would an MBA student in midst of his classes leave all the books behind and head towards a Guitar shop!!!.
Well the answer to this question lies in my HBO Course. In this course we were asked to take up a challenging project. To do something which one always wanted to do but could never muster enough courage. Of course there were certain conditions attached to the type of projects one can chose.
I chose to learn playing Guitar & to perform a duet in the end with one of my batch met who is also standing by me in this journey.
Since my engineering college days I wanted to play Guitar. Once I even started taking lesson from my guitarist friend, Swadhisthan Thoke. However, I failed miserably then.
So This time when opportunity knocked on my door, I didn’t let it go.
I’ve got 2 and half month, before the D-day. Also, this Walkabout carries 25% weight of HBO course, which again is a 4 credit course. Lets see what happens.
Btw, I’ve already taken appointment with an instructor here and shall be starting my formal training from tomorrow. Wish me luck !

Back to my "Karma Bhoomi"

After a much needed three week break from studies, am back in AIM, my "Karma Bhoomi" till december, at least. My classes/grilling begins on the afternoon of 7th, so am thinking of exploring a few pages of wikipedia in the meanwhile.
Past three weeks were rejuvenating in the literal sense.
My vacation started with a trip to Thailand's capital Bangkok. Honestly I was impressed with the progress they have made in smoothing road traffic. The flyovers and expressways they have made is a model for major cities around the globe fighting with the traffic jam problem.
Then I went to Jaipur where I met my cutie pie, my angelic daughter who turned 6 months old a couple of days before my arrival. It was really moving to see that my daughter, whom I'd last seen when she was only 1 and half month old, recognized me the moment she saw me. May be its because she used to see me almost on the daily basis on webcam. Whatever. Thank you wifey for individually taking care of our daughter not only as a mother, rather as a father too.
With Apooravi, my next 7 days passed by in no time. Contrary to what I'd thought before leaving for India, I could hardly drive my parked car, City Zx for 100 KMs. there was actually no time for anything. I hardly did any shopping. Can't even see any movie in the theater. However, I somehow managed to get the edu loan ceiling enhanced by a few lacs.
On 25th, I proceeded alongwith my wifey and daughter to Jamshedpur where I met both my younger brothers and my parents. We were all together after a long long time. Once again a week seemed too little to be enough.
on 31st I left Jamshedpur for New Delhi where I took NCFM's Derivatives and Debt market tests. I think my performance in these tests were satisfactory considering that I was not able to prepare at all for these tests.
On 3rd night I left Delhi for Manila via Bangkok. My daughter and wifey had come to IGIA for seeing me off. Last time my daughter was very young, but this time I'm sure she is going to miss me.
Btw, no prize for guessing that I'm missing them like hell.
It was near dawn, when Cebu Pacific's flight landed in Manila. The moment I came out of airport and our taxi started plying on the roads of Manila I felt as if I'm back to a place where everything is sooo much familiar. As if I'm back in my own country. I was feeling so much at home that in the evening when I was going out for dinner, I started talking with hostel staff in "hindi". When she said "sorry", it took me a moment to realize that am not in my motherland, rather in a foreign country where hardly anyone understands hindi. Whatever.
The break was great. It has reenergized me to take the coming semester head on, and I'm sure raring to go :).

MALENA......

He who said so, was dot on target when he said that "Cinema" is a reflection of society. It truly is. It tells us so many things about the customs, fashion, architecture, etc of an era which can not be encompassed in literature.
After my CFA Level-I exam got over on 2nd dec, I've watched many a good movies. Notable among them are, "Catch me if you can", "The others", "The Illusionist". However, one movie which I'm not going to forget for quite some time is definately none other than "MALENA".
Wowwwwww. What a movie. Hats off to Giuseppe Tornatore, Writer/Director of this Italian flick for coming out with this perfect depiction of pure love, the longingness felt by the one sided lover.
As soon as the movie starts, it transcends you into the second world war Italy. The master storeyteller casts his magic and you suddenly start feeling in sync with all the characters of the movie for next 1 hour 40 mins. And when the movie ends, you feel like staying back in time for some more time so as to be able to share the pain with "Malena".
Simply great. Cinema at its best.

Can Group - LT 7B

So finally I have a pic of my CAN group mates. Looks great ... right? Allow me to introduce my Learning Team members. From Left... Your truly, Reetesh Bhargava, Ruchak Mehta, Karen Mario Sumcio, Wang Shu, Russ Lo and Amit Vijay. When we'd started our journey 3 months back, we were kinda most 'under rated' group. No one amongst our group was a 'high flier'. But in less than 3 months time our group has created a niche for itself in the eyes of all professors. We met our mentor today and it was really satisfying to know that all our group members are doing quite well. Good job LT7B. Keep it up...

Dard-E-Dil, Dard-e-zigar

So it was another WAC night.... Good thing that I cud finally submit my WAC in time .. at 07:20 a.m. :)
4th night out in this week. and another one in the offing .. woooooooofffffff....
Here in AIM we sixth floorites have made a rule that we'll not say its today unless we've slept last night ... or in other words .. if it is a night out then today has not yet happened... it is yet to happen .. so although it is already 10:00 a.m., I don't accept that its 20th October... nah .. its 19th ... how can it be 20th, if I've not slept on 19th night ?????
whatever............ :D
So now the title of this post ... Dard-E-Dil..
I've kinda found a new-found respect for this song thanks to my dear room mate Kapil .. Kapil Dhar .... "Kapil 'Kapil' kataye ja ..... "
This morning, I went to pee and there I heard him singing this song while taking bath.... Wowww.. he was singing this soooooo wellll ....I always believed in his singing capabilities ... but it was something very very special ... direct from the heart ... so very real .. so very "dard se bhara"...
WSo here I'm .. listening and singing the song .. for the ..... nth number of times ...
"Dard -e - dil , dard- e - zigar.... dil me jagaya, aapne ....."